St. Louis MO
July 11th, 2008
Last weekend marked the first time in a while that the Fylers saw 4-on-4 hockey, and that was still missing some veterans like Tom S, Donald W, Johnny G, and Michael F. Maybe we're getting a long fine without you guys. You ever think about that.? NO,NO,NO...we're kidding. We need you after all.
So come out this Sunday and celebrate not only the second week in a row of good ol' fashioned Fylers Hockey, but also:
- John Brook's & Woot.com's respective Birthdays
- Your New IPhone Purchase (Fyler Apps will be available for download)
- Family Day in South Africa
- 40th anniversary of the firing of Lee Iacocca as Ford Motor President by Henry Ford II
- 440th anniversary of the perfection of beer bottling by the dean of St. Paul's Cathedral
9am, Brentwood Gardens. We'll see you there.
07/04/08
St.Louis
Nothing pithy here this week. Weather appears to want to accommodate us this week. Will the numbers return the favor? Last week was a light week, but we managed to see a couple of new faces. Fatigue and weather brought an early close however.
For those of you who know Fylers semi-regular David Eto (takes smoke breaks when the rest of us are clamoring for water) he's at St. Mary's after a quadruple bypass. I went by there today to drop off a Fylers tee and to see if there was any chance he could play this weekend. He is getting out tomorrow so there's hope he'll be able available on Sunday. Fingers crossed.
Kidding aside, he's doing well and will hopefully be back up and skating before too long. We'll be thinking about you David, but I'm not gonna start smoking or anything.
See you Sunday.
06/06/08
St. Louis MO
Fylers Chief Technology Officer, Gunder Sutherland, unveiled the the long awaited rainproof wheel this afternoon at Fyler HQ. For the last several months, Sutherland and his team has been developing a wheel that will allow the Fylers to play in even the most inhospitable weather.
The wheel, originally set to debut in January, encountered a set back during the animal trials and delayed the debut several months. The mishap also managed to raise the ire of local animal rights activists resulting in multi-million dollar lawsuit settled out of court in late March. When all was said and done, the project is said to have cost the team in the neighborhood of 3.3 million dollars.
"It's a sizeable investment to be sure," says spokesman Pierre Reedy "but we feel we owe it to our fans to give our boys everything they need to come to the rink and compete."
Additional controversy boiled over when it was discovered that, beside strapping some skates to a couple of retired circus monkeys, no human or real-world testing had been done.
"The physics, the math, it's all there," sputtered Sutherland taking umbrage with the attack on his team's thoroughness. "We've run countless models, analyzed reams of data. It simply has to work. It has to."
With rain forecast for Saturday, the Fylers may have to test Sutherland's claims come Sunday June 8th at 9am. Fingers crossed for a back to back weekend of hockey.
5/22/08
St. Louis
This Memorial Day weekend, the Fylers and fan faithfuls will take a moment to reflect on one of the slowest seasons in franchise history. No tears will be shed, no glasses raised. We'll be respectful but stern as we say "Good Riddance" to a wet and gloomy 2008 season.
With attendance at an all time low, TV ratings plummeting, and a Dave Bain's morale at near suicidal levels, the Fyler front office has made moves of their own as they let go the current Director of Marketing Andre Fennelsman. It's not like Fennelsman couldn't see the writing on the wall. It's hard to blame the marketing for rain, but owner Ted Marave is not known for his rational personnel decisions or his shrewd understanding of the laws of meteorology.
Fylers spokesman Pierre Reedy was guarded when asked what kind of marketing initiatives we could expect next year. Remember, he received the brunt of the blow back from the failed Cupcake promotion last year, that some hypothesize, resulted in the burning down of the Fylers' Tilles complex.
"We have a lot of very exciting ideas on the table, and it's our goal to return the Fylers and the SCHL back to the prominence of the early 2000's as the only real hockey league in St. Louis."
His comments hinting at the, until recently, quiet feud between Marave and NHL commissioner Gary Bettman may be the kind of fire we're used to seeing out the front office. The kind of fire that could make for a very hot off-season Season. Management for one are not counting out this weekend (while I suspect, most others are). Hockey will drop at
9am, Sunday May 25th at the Brentwood Gardens. Now hopefully the players will remember: in the SCHL, it's a year 'round season.
*note: The Fylers would like to welcome the latest addition to the Fylers staff. What better way to battle the crippling dip in team morale than with some hackneyed pseudo-psycho babble.
Dear Fyler Phil
So I'll just come right out and say it: I'm a hockey player. Not like all the time or anything. It's a once a week kind of thing, normally. Anyway, lately I've been having some mixed feelings about it. I find myself thinking about other things. I start to wonder if maybe this isn't healthy. A guy could get hurt playing this sport, you know? People tell me, "It's not normal weekend behavior." You know, they say I should be sleeping in or mowing the lawn. Stil, a lot of my friends are doing it, and I don't want to let them down either. Should I stop playing? Help Fyler Phil.
-- EX SCHLer,
Hey there ex-SCHLer, we've all had those feelings of uncertainty, but you need to know that hockey playing isn't a problem you need overcome. It's an honor, it's maybe your duty. Anyone telling you otherwise doesn't deserve to be called 'people.' I'm not normally one to promote group think, but in this case, if your friends are doing it, it's because they're smarter than you and having a lot more fun. They're comfortable saying: "YES...I'm a Hockey Player."
Don't be ashamed. Get back to your roots and embrace who you are. I know a great support group for you. They meet every
Sunday at 9am at a place affectionately know as
Brentwood Gardens. They're sure to remind why you love to hockey.
--------------------------------
Fyler Phil
There's a terrible stench coming from my hockey bag. What can I do?
Putrid in Pevely
Ignore it Putrid. It's all in your head.
Fylers
No no. I understand. Sunday is
her day. I wouldn't want
her to be offended. Sure, Sunday is usually
our day, but this is important. I get it. Even though Sunday is
our day, I haven't seen you much lately, but you've been busy, I know. There are only so many hours in the day, days in the week, weeks in a month...you need your space.
Don't worry about me. I'm going to just plan on doing our thing Saturday instead. If you can make it great. No pressure. Ill just sit there on the bench and get some reading done if you cant make it. It'll be nice to get outside.
So thats about it. Ill just have to make do with Saturday. Luckily I'm free. You know, I don't get around as much as I used to so I really look forward to our usual Sundays, but not this week I guess. This week, Ill be at the Gardens on Saturday instead. If you're in the neighborhood...maybe you could stop by. Post if you're coming so I know how much food to make.
xoxo
Mom
PS: If you can make time in your busy schedule, the rink needs sweeping...oh, who am I kidding Ill just do that myself.
4/25/08
St. Louis
With the chance of two weekends in a row dwindling as weather reports roll in, the word 'curse' can no longer be ignored. While we're not ready to be lumped in the same company with the Cubbies just yet, there's undeniable proof that something greater than ourselves is at play.
It's not just weather either. The Fylers scouting team has had very high hopes for their latest acquisition Brooks, whose first practice was promising. With the Sharpie ink on his water bottle just dried, promises of adding another veteran to the ranks evaporated Sunday with a mis-extension of his knee. He's listed day-to-day but is expected to placed on the injured reserve following a final report from the Fylers orthopedic specialist.
"So if the weather won't keep you away, we'll knee cap you." That seems to be the message from the Fyler Gods. Pay homage, make offerings, say a prayer, whatever it takes to get back on the good side of these hockey god gents because we need to play more than twice a fiscal quarter.
Sunday at the Gardens if the weather holds.
The Fylers will wrap up their 'extended' road trip and return to action this Sunday. Lord knows, the weather and the WGA dispute has made this a thin Fylers season thus far. With the rain rolling in late on Sunday there should be a narrow window in which the Fylers can shake off the cob webs and pull a hamstring or two.
Moves made before the trade deadline have been kept eerily quiet. We'll cross our fingers the Hermann Monster's play for John(ny) Brooks was turned away like a patented Bain low, glove side save. Will Lewis return from the 'professional hiatus' which, rumors have it, had him peddling pomade for the Japenese market? And will the DNA scandal surrounding the Frain brothers turn out to be nothing more than tabloid drivel? I mean come on, we know they're brothers, just look at them.
If you need any more incentive to show up, I can't help you. New SCHL rules prohibit the 'incentivizing' of attendance without prior written permission. We'll see you Sunday 9am, at the Brentwood Gardens.
January 11, 2008 (Or is it?)
St. Louis MO
Don't get me started on calendar reform. Seriously, it's all I talk about nowadays. But whether you're a follower of the Gregorian, Julian, Chinese, Positivist, or Hebrew calendars, we can all agree it isn't 2008 until the Fylers take to the asphalt.
So this year in a bold and potentially devastating PR move, Fylers owner Ted Marave is officially declaring this Sunday January 1st 2008. Come ring in the new year with all your Fyler favorites, enjoy some black-eyed peas, random and unapproved gunfire while we 'drop the ball on Fylers 2008.
Well Sunday 9am at Brentwood Gardens.
Why can't I write these?
Sunday, Brentwood 9am.
Hockey will go down.